Tap into your inner strength

Rah-rah self-esteem boosts are falling out of fashion. What's in: self-compassion - a more stable, sustainable way to feel confident. And it's a skill you can learn, practise and master!

On the long list of wants in life - to be healthy, happy, fulfilled - feeling really, truly good about yourself likely takes a top spot for many people. And that comes with building confidence, which usually means improving your self-esteem - an internal judgement of your self-worth or "an evaluation of worthiness," says Dr Kristin Neff, an associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas.

Perhaps the most talked-about method for pumping yourself up is to tip the needle in the direction you want, telling yourself to work harder, get stronger and develop grit. But now, psych experts are poking holes in that theory, noting that while elevating your self-esteem can certainly be a pathway to more confidence, it has its pitfalls. Self-esteem is tied to external validation, like compliments at work or likes on a social media post, so it's fragile, says Dr Christopher Germer, a psychiatry lecturer at Harvard Medical School. When things don't go right, comparison, feeling of isolation and criticism creep in. 

Say you're falling behind on your marathon-training plan and angry with yourself about it. You might think, I'll try harder because I feel inadequate. In the short term, that may work, but in the long run? Nope. When you get down on yourself, you mind up doubting yourself, which makes it harder to take risks, learn and grow. You become afraid of failure, and you're more likely to give up than to try again.

An alternate way to a more assertive you: self-compassion, which involves showing yourself kindness when you're struggling, failing or noticing something you don't love about yourself. Self-compassion isn't about measuring up to expectations; it's a way of relating to yourself as a human. By caring and expressing concern for yourself during hard times, you're able to persevere and create changes.

Well, yes, feels kind of obvious, right? Let's go back to the training scenario to paint the picture a little more clearly: With self-compassion, you'll think, I'm going to try because I care about myself and I don't want to suffer. That kind of motivation "leads to more self-confidence," says Dr Neff. When you can sit with your pain and think through what you might need to achieve your goal - like waking up earlier for runs or scheduling them on your phone calendar - instead of spiraling over all the ways you're failing, you'll overcome challenges, building confidence and belief in yourself as you go. It's a subtle change in reaction, but it makes a huge difference. "Self-compassion gives you a stable source of self-confidence, as opposed to a sugar high," says Dr Neff.

We tend to think of self-compassion as passive, even unproductive ("If I'm easy on myself, I'll become complacent"). But that could not be further from the truth. There are two sides to self-compassion says Dr Neff. The tender side embodies the idea that although you are innately flawed, you are still worthy. And the fierce side says if you truly care about yourself, you accept yourself but don't accept all of your behaviours, especially harmful ones. "Part of caring for yourself means taking active steps to change," says Dr Neff. That's where the power of self-compassion comes in.

But none of this is easy. We tend to be waaay nicer to others than we are to ourselves - and we're quick to judge our shortcomings and failures. The good news is this is a trainable skill. "It's a muscle you can build," says Dr Neff.

These three methods create a deeper understanding of self-compassion and will help you feel your best today and for years to come. Motivation, a better mood, and, yep, allll the feel-good feelings, right this way...

1. Ask yourself: What do I need?

This is the question that guides the whole self-compassion cultivation agenda, says Dr Germer. Say you missed a deadline and are being hard on yourself about it. Instead of spiraling into negative self-talk, figure out what you need - a few more hours of childcare, writing daily to-do lists - to problem-solve. This inquiry (part of the fierce side of self-compassion) provides resources and tools for change, eventually generating self-confidence as you're able to learn and grow.

2. Put a hand on your heart

Touching your heart or your cheek "is probably the most widely used, simple and physiologically transformative experience toward self-compassion," says Dr Germer. (You're likely already doing it - when you receive bad news, you may instinctively put your hand on your heart!) This lowers cortisol levels, according to German research. Also, when you rub your chest, specifically, you may activate your vagus nerve, the main nerve of your parasympathetic (or "rest and digest") system, says Dr Germer. 

3. Figure out when you just "don't" have it in you

Pinpoint times when you lack self-compassion, says Dr Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness. Do you get in your head when you see an email from a certain colleague, or does negative self-talk bubble up every time you and your partner fight? Homing in on self-kindness in these moments can push you toward the type of change you're looking for. 

The way you talk to yourself can fuel compassion, but acing positive self-talk is not simply telling yourself, "Everything's great!" How to change your tune:

Notice the negativity

An easy way to cultivate a little TLC toward yourself is to practise a meditation tailored by Dr Neff for this purpose: Focus on the mistakes or flaws that have been bothering you lately, then find where the emotions about them tend to end up in your body, like tightness in your jaw or tension in your shoulders. Allow those feelings to sit in your body instead of resisting or rejecting them. This lets you get in touch with the suffering caused by your criticisms or the belief you have to be perfect.

Make a wish

Dr Germer favours the use of wishes over positive self-statements (like "I'm getting stronger!") Wishes, such as "May I accept every part of me," are like "surrounding yourself with sacred company rather than the nasty chatter in our own minds," he says. Plus, they encourage growth.

Replace the word "should"

Ever find yourself "should-ing" all over yourself? (Ugh, I should have done this earlier.) It's a common form of self-criticism, one that's not exactly self-compassionate, says Dr Lakshmin. Try subbing for your shoulds anything that fosters curiosity (Could I have chosen to do X instead? Or: I wonder what held me back most this week?) Curiosity is kinder and more productive than should-ing, she says.

Courage in the workplace

The Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz is known for his lack of courage, despite his imposing appearance.

In the story, he joins Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Woodman in the hope of receiving the gift of courage from the Wizard, believing that it will help him overcome his fears and become a true king of the beasts.

Throughout the journey, the Cowardly Lion displays moments of bravery and loyalty, even though he frequently doubts his own courage.

What Is Courage?

As the story progresses, the companions encounter various challenges and obstacles, and the Cowardly Lion's journey involves facing his fears and doubts head-on.

Ultimately, when they reach the Emerald City and meet the Wizard, they discover that the qualities they sought were already present within themselves.

Importantly, the character of the Cowardly Lion represents the idea that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to face one's fears despite them.

The lion's transformation throughout the story highlights themes of self-discovery, personal growth, and the realization that inner strength is often more powerful than external appearance.

In business, courage is a quality that often separates the ordinary from the extraordinary. It is the driving force that propels individuals to embrace risks, challenge norms, and drive through change.

In the workplace, courage is not just a virtue: it is a powerful tool that can shape careers, foster innovation, and elevate the overall organizational culture. However, like any tool, courage must be used wisely. While there are times when displaying courage is essential, there may be instances where "blind courage" is not be the best course of action.

The Benefits of Courage

Before we explore the potential downsides of courage, here are a few of the benefits of courage in the workplace.

Innovation

In a rapidly evolving business landscape, innovation is crucial for survival. Those who dare to challenge the status quo and bring fresh ideas to the table often lead the way. It takes courage to step out of your comfort zone and propose unconventional solutions that may lead to significant breakthroughs.

Speaking Up

Courageous employees aren't afraid to voice their opinions – even when they go against the majority. When an employee points out potential flaws in a project or strategy, they demonstrate courage that benefits the entire team.

Courage also means standing up for colleagues who might be facing challenges or injustices. Organizational, cultural, and social change would simply not be possible without people being courageous enough to stand up to injustices.

Calculated Risks

Every successful venture involves an element of risk. Employees who possess the courage to take well-considered risks might luck out with boosted career growth, and even financial gains.

Championing Change

Change can be daunting but is essential for growth. Employees who show courage in advocating for change such as new processes, new technology, or cultural shifts, become valuable change agents within the organization.

Addressing Conflicts

Courageous individuals are willing to address conflicts or issues that arise in the workplace. They do so constructively, aiming to resolve conflicts rather than allowing them to fester and harm team dynamics.

Admitting Mistakes

Displaying vulnerability by admitting mistakes takes courage. Such openness fosters a culture of learning and growth within the team.

The Dangers of Courage

There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. Despite the positives that can come from demonstrating courage in the right way, at the right time, it is worth reflecting on the situations where courage may not serve us so well.

Reckless Decision-Making

While courage can drive positive change, it can also lead to recklessness if not tempered with thoughtful analysis. Acting on impulse without proper research or planning can result in costly mistakes.

Ignoring Feedback

Courageous individuals may become so invested in their own ideas that they shut out constructive criticism. This can hinder personal growth, as well as impact the success of projects. So it is important to listen to input from colleagues.

Conflict Escalation

Courageous conversations are important, but they must be approached with diplomacy and respect. Unchecked courage can turn discussions into confrontations, which can damage relationships and teamwork.

Overstepping Boundaries

Misplaced courage can sometimes lead employees to overstep their roles and responsibilities, causing friction and misunderstandings within the team. It is essential to have a clear understanding of our role and consider our courageous actions in context.

How to Be More Courageous at Work

Courage is undeniably a valuable trait in the workplace, driving innovation, change, and growth. It can empower individuals to take risks, speak up, and challenge norms. However, while it can lead to remarkable things, courageousness should always be balanced with critical thinking, open-mindedness, and a respect for others' perspectives.

In essence, courage involves acting with conviction, integrity, and a sense of purpose. It involves creating an environment that supports and rewards courageous behavior and a culture of increased innovation, better problem-solving, and a more engaged and motivated workforce.

Like the Cowardly Lion, finding our own courage at work can be a winding path. Sometimes we will display moments of bravery and loyalty, even though we may be wracked with doubt and uncertainty. But, as The Wizard of Oz taught us, all we really have to do to act with courage is to remember that courage is already present within ourselves. 

Treat Failure Like a Scientist

James Clear recently had a wonderful conversation with his friend, Beck Tench. During their chat, Beck told him about an interesting shift in thinking that occurred while she worked at a science museum.

During her time there, Beck said that she learned how to treat failure like a scientist.

How does a scientist treat failure? And what can we learn from their approach?

Here’s what Beck taught him…

Treat Failure Like a Scientist

When a scientist runs an experiment, there are all sorts of results that could happen. Some results are positive and some are negative, but all of them are data points. Each result is a piece of data that can ultimately lead to an answer.

And that’s exactly how a scientist treats failure: as another data point.

This is much different than how society often talks about failure. For most of us, failure feels like an indication of who we are as a person.

Failing a test means you’re not smart enough. Failing to get fit means you’re undesirable. Failing in business means you don’t have what it takes. Failing at art means you’re not creative. And so on.

But for the scientist, a negative result is not an indication that they are a bad scientist. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Proving a hypothesis wrong is often just as useful as proving it right because you learned something along the way.

Your failures are simply data points that can help lead you to the right answer.

Failure Is the Cost You Pay to Be Right

None of this is to say that you should seek to make mistakes or that failing is fun. Obviously, you’ll try to do things the right way. And failing on something that is important to you is never fun.

But failure will always be part of your growth for one simple reason…

If you’re focused on building a new habit or learning a new skill or mastering a craft of any type, then you’re basically experimenting in one way or another. And if you run enough experiments, then sometimes you’re going to get a negative result.

It happens to every scientist and it will happen to you and me as well. To paraphrase Seth Godin: Failure is simply a cost you have to pay on the way to being right.

Treat failure like a scientist. Your failures are not you. Your successes are not you. They are simply data points that help guide the next experiment.

 

 

Joy to the world!

Finding pleasure in another person's good fortune is what social scientists call freudenfreude, a term inspired by the German word for joy. Sound familiar? That's because it is the opposite of schadenfreude. 

Schadenfreude means taking pleasure in someone's misfortune, whereas freudenfreude describes the good feelings we feel when someone else succeeds, even if it doesn't directly involve us. According to Catherine Chambliss, a professor of Psychology at Ursinus College, freudenfreude is like social glue, making relationships "more intimate and enjoyable". 

In her 2012 study, Dr Chambliss examined freudenfreude and schadenfreude scores among college students, some of whom were experiencing mild depression and some who weren't. Freudenfreude scores were higher, and schadenfreude scores were lower, among those who were not depressed. 

"When you're feeling down, it's natural to puncture positive news with negativity," Dr Chambliss explained - as the mildly depressed college students, however, had a harder time adopting a joy-sharing mindset.

Erika Weisz, an empathy researcher and postdoctoral fellow in psychology at Harvard University, said the feeling of freudenfreude closely resembles positive empathy - the ability to experience someone else's positive emotions. 

According to similar studies, sharing in someone else's joy can also foster resilience, improve life satisfaction and help people cooperate during a conflict, but you have to work your "joy-sharing muscles".

Try these from the experts:

• Show a genuine interest in in someone else's happiness.
• Ask questions and share the joy!
• View individual success as a communal effort.
• Share credit for your successes with others.
• Try "bragitude" - their word not ours - which involves expressing gratitude when someone else' success or support leads to your own.

It is truly possible to increase your own joy, by sharing in others' joy & successes!  It is a quick, easy, sincere way to improve your own quality of life. Shared happiness doubles the joy!

Nothing beats the feeling of being healthy

"I made myself accountable". 

One thing about humans: every January, we love a resolution. Collectively, we ditch the gin and tonic and swap it for gym tights and a gritty resolve to do better. And try as we may, come round-about February, we find ourselves chugging a lot slower and then, inevitably, petering out and quitting altogether. It's most likely down to a lack of strategy: we aim to do better but don't always go about it the right way. Countless studies have outlined how important it is to have a strategy in place when aiming for a fitness goal. Your fitness tracker helps, as do little incentives, like a free smoothie every week to reward you for sweating it out. To reach bigger goals, there are a few clever strategies to employ that real-life men and women can attest to - like Madi Annestia Steyn, who achieved her own personal Everest.

Legal advisor Madi Annestia was in denial. She'd stepped on a scale at the doctor's office and couldn't believe the number she was confronted with. 130kg. Up until then, she'd tried to avoid stepping on scales as much as she could, but here there was nowhere to hide. "I was in absolute shock because I thought I weighted 40gk lighter," she recalls. It was this - and her doctor's warning that Madi Annestia's weight could cause complications for her joints and reproductive system - that became the impetus behind the Instagram account, @The_CurvyGirl_SA. (Check it out!!)

I started an Instagram page because I couldn't lie to myself any further," Madi Annestia says. "The repetitive 'I will start on Monday' had become a standard saying during the week and I had to do something drastic to keep myself accountable." Enter: a simple Instagram post, detailing her weight. "Start where you are! Weighed in at 120.2kg on 05 October 2020 - not proud of this, but this is my point of reference!" she captioned the post.

To move the number on the scale, Madi Annestia aimed for a low-carb diet and did cardio at the gym. With each workout, she started to feel better about her body and posted her results diligently. "I uploaded a photo of the scale every Sunday to keep myself accountable," she says. "This bravery paid off because my followers resonated with my honesty and my struggles, which I share."

At first, Madi Annestia was afraid of the trolls who could bash down the confidence she'd so carefully created. But what came instead was an outpouring of support - and many men and women who wanted to make changes, too. Now, using social media as a tool, Madi Annestia has lost almost 40kg and is using her platform to encourage others to keep going by creating accountability sign-ups. "When I started the journey, I wanted to weigh a certain number on the scale, but as time progressed, I realised that this journey is about being healthy, active and using the right supplements to support your goals," she says. "Nothing beats the feeling of being healthy."

7 Surprising ways coffee can benefit your body & mind

 

Coffee lovers, are you ready to hear some astounding news about your beloved caffeine-fueled beverage? Many of us rely on coffee to jumpstart our mornings and keep ourselves running throughout the day, but what if we told you that not only can coffee help you power through your daily tasks – it can also provide numerous benefits for your mind and body? In this blog post, we’ll explore seven unexpected ways that drinking coffee can have a profoundly positive effect on both your mental and physical health! From boosting energy levels to helping build strong bones, read on to find out how brewing up a delicious cup of java could actually improve your overall wellbeing.

1. Increased energy and alertness

For millions of people around the world, a freshly brewed cup of coffee is their go-to fix for a morning energy boost. With its rich aroma and robust taste, coffee contains caffeine, a powerful stimulant that can help increase alertness and focus. Sipping on a piping hot cup of coffee can help wake you up, sharpen your mind, and keep you energised and productive throughout the day. Furthermore, if you are a coffee lover, whether you get your coffee from online shops like MauiCoffee or you choose to visit your local coffee shop, you understand the importance of a good morning cup! So, whether you need a quick pick-me-up before work or are trying to power through a long afternoon, a delicious cup of coffee is just what you need to get your body and mind firing on all cylinders.

2. Improved cognitive function and focus

Do you ever find yourself staring blankly at your computer screen, struggling to focus on a task at hand? Well, a simple solution might be sitting right in your kitchen cabinet – a steaming cup of coffee. Studies have shown that caffeine in coffee can improve cognitive function and increase focus, making it the perfect pick-me-up for when you need to power through a project or study session. Even better, the effects of a cup of joe can last up to four hours, so you can rely on its alertness-boosting powers throughout the day.

 

3. Enhanced physical performance and endurance

Coffee has been a favorite amongst athletes and fitness enthusiasts for years and for a good reason! Studies show that caffeine, the primary active ingredient in coffee, can enhance physical performance and endurance. Caffeine stimulates the central nervous system, leading to increased alertness, focus, and energy levels. These effects can help athletes push past fatigue and achieve their goals, whether it’s a morning gym session or a marathon. More importantly, caffeine can also help to boost the body’s metabolism, making it an invaluable asset for those looking to get in shape and stay healthy.

4. Reduced risk of certain diseases, such as Parkinson’s disease and liver cancer

Coffee lovers, take note! It turns out that having a daily cup (or three) of coffee could be doing more than just perking you up in the morning. Research suggests that regular coffee consumption could actually reduce your risk of developing certain diseases, such as Parkinson’s disease and liver cancer. These findings are music to the ears of coffee aficionados everywhere, who can now enjoy their favorite beverage with an added sense of wellbeing. Risks associated with other health conditions, such as diabetes and heart disease, may also be lower in coffee drinkers.

5. Lower risk of depression and improve mood

Coffee has long been a beloved beverage around the world, though its benefits extend beyond just giving us a boost of energy. Research has suggested that regularly drinking coffee can actually lower the risk of developing depression and improve overall mood. This is great news for those who love a good cup of joe, as they can now indulge in their favorite drink without feeling guilty. Coffee’s role in boosting mental health is believed to be due to its ability to increase the production of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which are responsible for regulating mood.

6. Boosted metabolism and potential weight loss

Coffee has been a beloved beverage for centuries, and now research has shown that it has the potential to help with weight loss. The caffeine in coffee can stimulate your metabolism, making it work faster and more efficiently. This increased metabolic rate can help you burn more calories throughout the day, even when you’re at rest. Additionally, coffee can also help suppress your appetite, making you feel less hungry and reducing your overall calorie intake. Of course, as with any weight loss strategy, it’s important to remember that coffee should be consumed in moderation and as part of a healthy, balanced diet and lifestyle.

7. Antioxidant-rich properties and potential protection against chronic diseases

For many of us, an energetic cup of coffee is the perfect way to kick-start the day, but did you know that this popular beverage may also have powerful antioxidant properties? With its active compounds, such as polyphenols and hydrocinnamic acids, coffee has the potential to help protect against chronic diseases. From diabetes to Alzheimer’s, studies have shown that regular coffee consumption can lower the risk of developing these conditions. While the debate about the potential risks and benefits of coffee continues, one thing is clear: when enjoyed in moderation, a cup of coffee can be a delicious and healthy addition to your daily routine.

 

Ultimately, it’s clear that coffee isn’t just a delicious drink; it has many positive benefits for our health. Whether it’s giving us a welcome boost of energy first thing in the morning or protecting against chronic diseases, drinking coffee has plenty of potential gains. Though the seven points we covered in this blog post are only the tip of the iceberg when considering all of the potential physical and mental benefits that come with consuming coffee. So next time you reach for your cup to power through the day, remember that you may be doing more than simply taking a break – you could be improving your overall wellbeing!

How to start journaling for mental health

Discover how to get started with journaling for improved mental health and wellbeing...

Journaling has exploded in popularity, and little wonder – it’s a great way to gain insight to your problems, connect with yourself, and it can be a lot of fun, too. Rachel Garnet discovers how to get started with journaling for your mental health…
 

Since I started journaling a few months ago, it’s become one of the most helpful and insightful things I do for my mental health and wellbeing. Yet, for a long time, when friends talked about their ‘journals’, I dismissed the practice as the same as diary-keeping – to be restricted to teenagers wanting to detail their days away from prying parental eyes, or for reminders, such as ‘give cat worm pill’.

Away in far-flung places, I never wrote a word – why recount experiences when I was living them? How wrong I was. Diaries may fundamentally be logbooks, but journals are your words about who you are.

My mind was changed by a work event. There, I met a woman who had impressed me with her self-belief and confidence. She amazed me by saying that when her insecurities arise, she journals, and that by leaving them on the page she frees herself from them.

Getting started with journaling

I was sceptical, but heeding her encouragement and wanting her tenacity, I bought a cheap book full of blank pages, with a pretty gold and pink cover; there are no printed dates in a journal, so none of the guilt of chronicle – free days.

At first, I was unsure how to start journaling. I wrote how I worried that my presentation and perceptions at a meeting would not be well received. The words poured out. It felt weird, even furtive.  I hid my journal among other books on my bedside table.

But days later, as I felt worries bubbling up again, I journalled that I felt like a balloon about to pop, still stuck years on with a lack of self-worth. Letting rip on the page became a self a regular thing. Already, I credit it with feeling less self-critical which, for me, is like a 10-tonne weight lifting.

Why is journaling good for your mental health? 

Jackee Holder, leadership coach and author of 49 Ways To Write Yourself Well, says: ‘A traditional diary is factual, it doesn’t externalise your inner dialogue, but a journal does. Journaling is the opportunity to express your inner thoughts and emotions, your creativity and your vibrancy.’

No wonder then, that journaling is powerful for our mental, physical and future health; recording experiences now can be a vital tool for memory as we age.

Research, carried out by universities from Lancaster to Arizona, shows that journaling can help maintain heart health, increase immunity and reduce stress. It is a detox for the brain and soul; writing down thoughts imposes structure on them and literally gets them out of our heads.

How to start journaling for mental health

When you’re first learning how to start a journal, decide where and how you want to write. I journal in my bedroom in the evening, but Holder points out: ‘You may feel safer when you write in a public place…Noisy spaces are a good way to distract your inner critic, who will do all it can to convince you not to journal. If it’s not practical to designate a fixed place, make your journal as portable as possible.’

A friend who is dealing with intense issues, but also has four kids and a full-time job, journals on her phone on the bus home from work. Holder puts the case for a regular journalling pattern, be it every three days or whatever works for you.

Find a time when you are not distracted, and try to allocate at least 10 to 15 minutes for each session. ‘It will give you enough time and space to express yourself and dip beneath the surface,’ says Holder.

How to start a journal: 4 writing prompts

A word or an essay? It can be hard to know what to write when learning how to start journaling. ‘One of the most common reasons people give for not keeping a journal is that they don’t know what to write,’ says Holder.

She advocates writing prompts as ‘a way to access topics if you are worried about having a blank mind when you first learn how to start a journal’. Writing prompts could include:

• What you are thinking now
• A concern you have
• The view from your window
• The best job you ever had

One of my journal entries is a single swearword; it summed up how I felt at the time. As my journal filled, I began to feel release. Holder understands this: ‘I had a relationship break-up two years ago and my journal never left my side,’ she says. ‘It kept me afloat and helped me regain my buoyancy.’

One of the key things to remember when learning how to start journaling is that you should go back and reflect. I realised this by accident, when my self-critical voice was loud, and it triggered a memory I had written about

Aged 23, I’d been in hospital. The outcome of tests could have been life-changing. I was frightened, so told an older relative who was highly significant in my life. Her reply was: ‘Well, how do you think I feel?’ She was someone who would generally prioritise her own feelings.

At the time, I berated myself for telling her and also for being hurt by her reaction. Now, I felt how deep her own issues must have been for her to say that.

    

Learning from your journal

What my journal pointed out to me then, as often happens now, was that my self-criticism is unwarranted. Instead, self-compassion is needed. Holder told me that as a younger woman, she would write most when feeling bad, and I was definitely doing this for a while.

‘The challenge with this,’ explains Holder, ‘is that although what comes through from your journal can be very insightful, unless you go back and highlight this, you just continue going around in the same cycle, as the lesson hasn’t been internalised.’

Now, since learning how to start journaling, I use a highlighter pen to show when I have those informative moments. It wasn’t until weeks after writing down a lovely compliment a mum from my youngest child’s school had paid me, that I allowed myself to take it on board.

Often, I’ll smother kind words with my inner critic. My journal is shrewd, inexpensive therapy, but Holder has opened my eyes to how it can become much more than that: a place of inspiration, a friend and companion for life.

How to start ‘free flow’ journaling

Holder has liberated me to what she calls ‘free flow’ journaling. This is where you journal exactly what comes into your mind at the time of writing. I had been concentrating and constraining my journaling into what I wanted to explore about myself. Free flow enables your journal to become the exciting place it will end up being.

By writing more when I feel good, it’s also becoming vibrant. Now, I write about anything I want to, from my son saying I was the best ‘squidgy piglet’ to the old lady at the supermarket checkout, who was so thrilled when I told her I loved her dress, that she made my day.

Here is a slightly edited (never let others read your journal; it’s for your eyes only) example of two entries, one written three days after the other in my journal, which show the diversity of journal reflection. ‘Anna and I both wore the same leopard-print skirt. We are becoming Coleen Nolan.’ ‘I feel detached, it’s that nagging voice again, that I am not good enough.’

Journaling on-the-go

I keep my journal at home in the same place; always knowing where it is adds to its therapeutic feel. However, I have shopping receipts and envelopes inserted into it, with my open and honest thoughts that needed to be jotted down when I’ve been out and about.

Recently, I’ve begun to add some photos and pictures which have resonated with me, too. New aspects of journaling continue to open up. Holder discovered how her journal could help her see future ideas or thoughts when she began writing about her feelings towards being in midlife, triggered by a fellow passenger on a London train journey.

Since learning how to start journaling, I’ve become braver. It’s incredible what happens when you give rise to your inner dialogue. Reviewing mine, I see countless little entries about South America, such as wistfully thinking what I’d eat as a vegetarian in Brazil.

I have always wanted to spend time in South America, but my journal has highlighted how strong this desire is. So, I am starting an evening course to learn Spanish. When my children are adults, my husband and I aim to be the oldest backpackers in South America. One thing’s for sure, my journal will be coming with me.

The health benefits of apple cider vinegar

 Discover the numerous health benefits of apple cider vinegar...

Apple cider vinegar: a store cupboard staple and folklore favourite cure-all. We’re shining a spotlight on the health benefits of apple cider vinegar, before revealing the best ways to incorporate this powerhouse ingredient into your diet…

What is apple cider vinegar?

 

Apple cider vinegar is a type of vinegar which is created by adding yeast to the juice of crushed apples. This causes the sugar in the apple juice to ferment and turn into alcohol, which bacteria then convert into acetic acid. It’s this acid that gives apple cider vinegar that well-known sourness and tang.

 

History of apple cider vinegar

A simple apple cider vinegar has become a bit of a trend as people become more clued up on its benefits for internal health. But, as an essential ingredient, it’s nothing new.

In Ancient Greek, physician Hippocrates prescribed apple cider vinegar and honey for coughs and colds. Plus, the Romans swore by it as an energising tonic. The probiotic content would have improved their stomachs’ gut flora and ability to take in more nutrients, as well as remove waste toxins.

Fast-forward to the modern day, and researchers are investigating new medical usages for this age-old vinegar. Hiccupops, an apple cider vinegar lolly invented to cure hiccups, is the subject of trials by US research institutions.

Certain cancer, liver and epilepsy treatments cause hiccups, which can be painful to the patient. This lolly overstimulates the nerve associated with the hiccup reflex and stops it firing.

Health benefits of apple cider vinegar

Discover some of the key health benefits of apple cider vinegar…

Apple cider vinegar for weight management

According to a Japanese study, apple cider vinegar also aids healthy weight loss. In a 12-week trial, participants who drank 15ml or 30ml of apple cider vinegar daily lost up to 2lb more than those drinking a placebo.

The high acetic acid levels work as an inhibitor to lipogenesis, the process in which sugar is converted to fatty acids in the body.

Apple cider vinegar for heart health

Apple cider vinegar can also reduce the risk of heart disease. In 2011, scientists gave daily doses to test subjects and proved it significantly decreased LDL (low density lipoprotein), aka bad cholesterol.

This is due to the high levels of polyphenols, particularly chlorogenic acid, which is found in high quantities in the vinegar. Polyphenols are micronutrients that help to stop the oxidisation of LDL, which means clearer, healthier arteries.

How to take apple cider vinegar

Apple cider vinegar is a hugely diverse ingredient, which you can use in a range of different recipes. If you’re purely going for the health benefits, simply mix 15ml of apple cider vinegar with 300ml of water or herbal tea and drink each morning.

If you fancy incorporating apple cider vinegar into your cooking, try out the following recipes…

 

 

Green apple cider vinegar smoothie

Add some tang to a smoothie by whizzing up 2 tsp of detoxifying apple cider vinegar with a green apple, kiwi, half a cucumber and a handful of kale.

BBQ apple cider vinegar marinade

Marinate summer barbecue meat or veg with apple cider vinegar to create a barrier between the food and flames, which stops carcinogenic heterocyclic amines (HCA) forming.

Combine ½ cup apple cider vinegar with 3 tbsp soy sauce, 3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce, cracked black pepper, 3 crushed and chopped garlic cloves and a sprig of thyme.

Buttermilk with apple cider vinegar

When you use apple cider vinegar to make buttermilk, it acts as a natural probiotic ingredient for pancakes, scones or bread. Make your own by adding 1 tbsp of vinegar to 230ml milk. Let it stand for 15 mins, then use straight away in your chosen recipe.

3 best organic apple cider vinegars

When buying apple cider vinegar, it’s best to choose one that is unpasteurised and unfiltered. An easy way to spot this is to look out for cloudiness.

What is apple cider vinegar with ‘the mother’?

 

An unpasteurised and unfiltered apple cider vinegar will contain ‘the mother’: a cloudy substance that is full of highly nutritious gut-friendly bacteria and powerful enzymes. If you find a bottle that is totally clear, chances are this goodness has been filtered out.

Begin your apple cider vinegar journey with these high-quality, unpasteurised, unfiltered organic options…

Aspall Raw Organic Apple Cyder Vinegar

The raw and organic apple cider vinegar from Aspall is fermented from the juice of a special blend of organic apples. It is also unfiltered to retain the natural living ‘mother’ organisms that develop during fermentation. Aspall also creates a filtered option, but this raw, unfiltered apple cider vinegar offers the greatest health benefits.

Ostler’s Cider Vinegar with ‘The Mother’

This award-winning organic cider vinegar is made using freshly crushed apples which have been allowed to mature. The vinegar has not been pasteurised or filtered, meaning it is complete with the nutritious ‘mother’ culture.

Higher Nature Organic Apple Cider Vinegar

Manufactured from organically grown apples from organic certified and inspected orchards, this apple cider vinegar is unfiltered, unpasteurised and naturally fermented to retain the highly nutritious bacterial culture of the ‘mother’.
How to make apple cider vinegar

Did you know, you can also easily make your own apple cider vinegar at home? Follow these step-by-step instructions and start reaping the health benefits…

1. Core, peel and roughly chop three apples.
2. Put them in a sterilised bowl or jar, then mix in 3 tsp brown sugar, and water to cover.
3. Place a paper towel on top and secure with a band.
4. Leave for 2-3 weeks in a warm, dark place, then strain and return to the jar for another few weeks. Taste occasionally until it’s reached the level of acidity you like.

 

Hardship and the mind-body connection: the effects of low resilience

 What does it mean to be resilient?

The answer will be different for everyone. We each have our own experiences and overcome challenges unique to our lives. No one walks through life hoping to lose their jobs, have a life-threatening illness, or live through the COVID-19 pandemic.

But, when adversity strikes, we find a way through it.

 

Perhaps you’re currently going through something difficult right now. It may have slashed your confidence, leaving you uncertain about the future. But you’re more than capable of resilience. Humans didn’t survive thousands of years by being non-adaptable. You carry those skills within you — you just have to let them shine.

If you don’t, you put yourself at risk of serious health consequences. Mental and physical health are intimately linked, and letting adversity get to you can cause everything from depressive symptoms to heartburn.

It’s important to understand the mind-body connection and how it plays into the effects of low resilience. Once you do, we can work together to find a path forward. You can build resilience.

How does resilience affect a person’s life?

Resilience is a combination of protective factors, including your ability to withstand, overcome, and bounce back from difficult life events.

This doesn’t mean stressful situations won’t affect you — quite the contrary. You’ll still feel all the negative emotions and types of stress. But, with more resilience, you can work through those feelings and avoid psychological distress.

The 4 types of resilience

There are four types of resilience, each corresponding to a different area of your life.

Psychological resilience is the ability to motivate yourself to do something difficult. For example:

§  Running every day to train for a half-marathon

§  Writing a whole book while also working a full-time job

Emotional resilience refers to your ability to conjure positive emotions when you need them — like optimism, curiosity, or joy. Some examples:

§  Encouraging your colleagues through a difficult project

§  Making the best of your recovery time after an injury

Social resilience is the ability to reach out to others for help. It’s also about being the kind of person who others don’t mind supporting. Some examples of social resilience include:

§  Asking friends for encouragement before you head into a job interview

§  Considering and accepting difficult advice from people who care about you

Physical resilience refers to the capacity to overcome physical challenges. For instance:

§  Beating your weight-lifting goal at the gym

§  Helping a friend move a couch down a narrow staircase

Why resilience is important

Life has many blessings. But you’ll never completely avoid hardship. Some challenges will be relatively minor, and others may be disastrous.

When adversity strikes, keeping a resilient mindset allows you to tackle problems head-on, overcome them, and move on. It prevents you from becoming overwhelmed and encourages healthy coping mechanisms. It also helps you tap into your strengths and support networks to rebuild after experiencing pain, hardship, and suffering.

What causes low resilience?

There are a few reasons why people have low resilience. Thankfully, low resilience doesn't have to be a permanent condition. With regular practice of mental fitness exercises, you can build resilience and other core psychological resources, just like you go to the gym to build strength and physical fitness.

 

Here are things that might be affecting your resilience levels:

Childhood experiences. Being consistently overwhelmed as a child and lacking a strong support system are good predictors for unhealthy coping strategies and a low tolerance for change.

Lack of social support. Even if you had a healthy childhood, you might feel overwhelmed if you don’t currently receive emotional validation from loved ones. Your family members, friends, and colleagues should help you feel supported.

Unrealistic plans. Setting unachievable goals can set you up for failure and disappointment. Lower resilience often stems from taking on too much too fast and setting yourself up for failure.

Low self-esteem. If you don’t have faith in yourself or your abilities, you’re less likely to adapt gracefully to stressful situations. Some side-effects of low self-esteem also include mental illnesses such as anxiety, stress, loneliness, and an increased likelihood of depression.

Emotional regulation. If you never learned how to process your emotions or seek help to work through them, you’re more likely to be overwhelmed when challenged.

The impacts of low resilience

Low resilience often leads to higher levels of stress, which is why both conditions share similar symptoms. These include behavioral changes like:

§  Changing your eating habits

§  Smoking, drinking, or other substances

§  Avoiding colleagues, friends, and family

§  Overreacting to minor problems

§  You may also experience emotional symptoms in reaction to adverse events. For example:

 

ü  Irritability ü  Mood swings ü  Anxiety ü  Disappointment with yourself

ü  Tearfulness or aggression ü  Lack of motivation ü  Low energy levels

 

§  From a physical standpoint, you may experience:

 

ü  Fatigue ü  Nausea

ü  Muscle pains and aching ü  Palpitations

 

§  Your cognitive functions may also take a hit, leading to:

 The effects of low resilience on your health

Low resilience increases your susceptibility to stress. This, in turn, can lead to long-term health consequences.

 

Stress is your body’s reaction to a real or perceived danger (also known as a stressor). When you have low resilience, your response to a stressor is more intense — causing the release of stress hormones, like cortisol and adrenaline, through your body.

These hormones increase your heart rate, tighten your blood vessels, and raise your blood sugar. If you frequently experience these symptoms — or experience them for an extended period of time — you open yourself up to several unfavorable health conditions. Here are some examples:

ü  Mental exhaustion ü  A lowered immune system ü  Heart disease and cardiovascular problems ü  High blood pressure

ü  Diabetes ü  Burnout ü  Weight gain ü  Cognitive impairment

High resilience helps with stress management. It reduces your reaction to stressors, thus lowering your stress response and risk of long-term health consequences.

Consequences of low personal resilience at work

Unsurprisingly, 75% of American workers say “stress” is their number one workplace health concern. And for those who lack resilience, stress can seriously reduce their sense of worth, attitude toward their job, and work performance. And let’s be real: work can be stressful.

But it doesn’t have to be, so it’s important to increase your level of resilience at work. It’ll improve your well-being and make you a more valuable candidate to prospective employers.

Some of the top skills valued by companies are related to resilience. They want people who are adept at:

§  Complex problem solving

§  Creativity and innovation

§  Emotional intelligence

§  Cognitive flexibility

§  Self-efficacy

These skills can help you adapt to complex challenges, work more collaboratively with your team, and ultimately reduce the impact of stress on your well-being.

Reframing negative thoughts 

Humans naturally tend toward negativity. We often:

§  Remember traumatic events more clearly than positive ones

§  Dwell on criticism rather than praise

§  Think about negative things more often than positive ones

§  React more strongly to negative events than hopeful ones

You can thank evolution for this cognitive function. Historically, it kept us alert to potential dangers and increased our chances of survival. But nowadays, our negativity bias is much less helpful. It can hurt you in many areas, including your resilience.

When you focus on something bad that happened, the chances are that it wasn’t a life-or-death situation. The unfair criticism you received at work, the rude customer at the coffee shop, the spilled water on your shirt — these are valid annoyances, but they won’t kill you. Even if it feels like the end of the world, you can persevere.

Dwelling on these negative events gives them undue weight in your life. This only increases your stress levels when reframing your thoughts would be much healthier.

You can do this in a few ways:

Avoid all-or-nothing thinking. Be careful not to see everything as a strict success or failure. For example, spilling water is indeed annoying. But it shouldn’t have a bearing on the rest of your day.

Look for the positive. It might sound cliché, but disregarding positive experiences only justifies hurtful thought patterns.

Look for positive things that happened to you. There are more than you think.

Tame your emotions. You’re allowed to be annoyed, angry, or sad. But don’t draw conclusions about your life based on these emotions. Like most feelings, they drift away as quickly as they came.

Don’t jump to conclusions. It’s easy to make assumptions, but you likely don’t have the details to accurately assess the situation. So next time someone cuts you off on the highway, try to think of the whole picture. Their anger has more to do with their issues than yours.

Practice self-compassion. Negative thoughts harm no one more than you. You can acknowledge a bad day while also letting it go. Removing negativity from your mind is an act of self-care.

Focus on what you can control. The world is full of things you can’t change, so it’s no use dwelling on them. Instead, focus on what you can change. This will help you feel more empowered and optimistic — thus improving your resilience.

The road to resilience

You’ll invariably encounter hard times. It’s a part of life. But, by building resilience, you can gracefully take on the challenges that come your way.

It won’t be easy, and it’s okay to ask for help if you need it. Working with a mental health professional can help you identify negative thought patterns and stop the effects of low resilience — especially if your negativity is rooted in childhood trauma.