Authenticity- Don’t fake it, Nurture it

What does authenticity mean? How can you find and nurture it? Learn how you can be more authentic by getting to know yourself.

“Just be yourself!”

“Show up as your whole self!”

Authenticity is being real, honest, truthful, genuine, and sincere. When you are authentic, there is an alignment between how you are on the inside and how you present yourself to others. One of the places we might struggle to be authentic is at work.
There are people who appear to be performing for an audience, and there are those who seem ‘honest’ sharing what is harmful to others, justifying themselves as being authentic. So, what does authenticity mean? How can you find and nurture it?

Think about what authenticity feels like to you:

• How does it feel when you are being your best authentic self?
• What are the occasions when you have been able to be your best authentic self? How do you recognise it?
• How does it feel to be with someone who is being their best authentic self?

Leaders first

Authenticity is especially hard when you step into the role of a leader, whether you have a team of people reporting to you or not. Over the course of our careers we have built up our own and our perceptions of people’s expectations and judgements about how we ‘should’ be. These expectations can be disguised into the ‘qualities of a good leader’.

Think about how it feels to be with someone who is being their best authentic self - you can start to see why we need authentic employees.

Authentic co-workers bring out the best in all of us. We feel a sense of belonging, to ourselves and to others. Authenticity around us is an invitation to be more authentic ourselves.

The world of business has created a ‘perform and prove mindset’, where we show strength and authority. But the challenges ahead of us, for society and the climate, need a more human approach to dealing with colleagues at work. A better connection with purpose, values and responsibility for people.

We need people we can trust and connect with and this means making space for authenticity.

Can you fake it?

This question has been asked many times…

Authenticity by definition cannot be faked.

Fake authenticity seeks fame, to be known. It is motivated by wanting something in return. Genuine authenticity involves the risk to be known, to be willing to show the messy and ugly - where suitable - so that you can create better connection with others.

Fake authenticity doesn’t care about offending others. It can be an excuse to express opinions or feelings with any choice of words, regardless of time, place or audience. Real authenticity speaks the truth with compassion. It considers how words will impact listeners’ emotions. It is kind and considerate, not just opinions and declarations.

Fake authenticity wants to be heard, but not changed. Authenticity, on the other hand, motivates people to learn and grow into a better version of themselves.

If we want an environment for authenticity, compassion is essential. Build up emotional fluency and emotional intelligence in teams and individuals and see people flourish! 

Start with your self-awareness

You cannot BE yourself, unless you KNOW yourself.

Self-awareness is a journey. The moment you think you have great self-awareness you realise something new. You are constantly learning new things about yourself. To be really self-aware we need to start by letting go of the idea that we are fixed.

So explore, what is it to be you?

• What is your own purpose, your mission in life, your direction?
• What are your values?
• What are your beliefs about yourself and others?
• Do you recognise your own voice, and the voice of others?

Only when you work on who you are can you really be who you are and who you are growing to become.

Learn more about what comes from the essence of who you are, and what comes from the environment.

Life is not so much about becoming who you want to be, but more about "un-becoming" who you don't want to be.

Update your smoothie

Smoothies can make a very healthy breakfast—it's all about the ingredients and keeping reasonable portions. When following healthy parameters, it is okay to have a smoothie for breakfast every day. Super healthy breakfast smoothies are quick and easy to make, and of course, they are delicious too!

When looking for a healthy breakfast smoothie, try to find one that’s low in sugar and high in protein, fiber, and healthy fats so you stay full for longer.

What do you put in a breakfast smoothie?

There are so many options for what you can put in a breakfast smoothie. Each category of ingredients provides different positive benefits. Here are a few of my favorite ideas for what you should put in your morning smoothie:

• Healthy Fats. Your favorite nut butter, coconut milk, or chia seeds. This makes the smoothie more satisfying and keeps you full between meals. Keep portions in mind; 1 tablespoon is usually enough.

• Protein and Fiber Additions. Greek yogurt or your favorite protein powder are easy ways to make breakfast protein smoothies. A tablespoon of oatmeal adds fiber.

• Fruit. Breakfast fruit smoothies are always a crowd-pleasing choice. Strawberries and blueberries are often go-to’s. Bananas make smoothies naturally sweet. Mango and pineapple can hide the taste of greens. Unexpected fruits like apples or watermelon can be scrumptious too.

• Flavor Additions. Vanilla, cinnamon, honey, maple syrup, and dates are all excellent ways to give your smoothie more flavor.

• Liquid. Unsweetened almond milk is a huge favorite for smoothies. You can also use juice (be sure to do this in moderation, since juice is high in sugar but low in fiber), a different kind of milk, coconut water, or even plain water.

Are Breakfast Smoothies Good for Weight Loss?

• Filling breakfast smoothies that are high in protein and low in calories can be good for weight loss. Choosing hearty breakfast smoothies will help make sure you aren’t starving by mid-morning.

Note: The above is a general guideline. For more information or specific recommendations for your own diet, please contact a nutritionist or your doctor.

How to Make Ahead + Store Smoothies

• No time in the morning to whip up a smoothie? NO PROBLEM. You can make most smoothies the night before and store them in the refrigerator.
• To Store. Store blended smoothies in the refrigerator for up to 1 day. Place the smoothie in an airtight jar; the less air touching the smoothie, the better. Stir before serving.
• To Make Ahead. Prepare the smoothie as directed, then pour into an airtight freezer-safe mason jar and freeze for up to 3 months. Let thaw overnight in the refrigerator before serving.

Recommended Tools for Making Smoothies

• Blender. A high-powered blender and makes everything very smooth and creamy.
• Stainless Steel Straws. These make everything you drink through them taste so refreshing. Try to keep some in your purse, so you don’t need to ask for a plastic or paper straw when you’re out. They’re great for taking smoothies to go as well.
• Opaque Cup. A great way to make (hide) green-colored breakfast smoothies for kids.

Now, let’s get to those healthy breakfast smoothies!

Are you living life on autopilot?

Here's how to stop sleepwalking through your days, ditch the autopilot, and embrace the discomfort of uncertainty.

While operating on autopilot is often the path of least resistance, especially in the face of trauma, it doesn’t leave us much room to grow or change. Find out how to step out of your comfort zone and reap the rewards.

Despite the natural impulse to grow, at times this drive can be stunted. We can become so caught up in the daily grind that we stop seeing the beauty of life and just get through the day, the week, the year, putting off happiness for another time, not fully conscious of life and all it has to offer.

We have a natural desire to be consistent and are most happy when all our beliefs and values line up. Our brain prefers things to be as expected, and does its best to keep it that way. When information fits our framework or we are in situations we know, we can run on autopilot, a place our brain likes to be. When everything fits and there are no surprises, we experience less internal discomfort. We spend much of our lives in this comfortable state – but it brings with it some problems.

To stay in autopilot, our brain needs external inputs to be reasonably constant. In simple terms, this translates to a life in which we prefer to know how things will be and where we can follow the same patterns. The situations and experiences we encounter fit our mental map and we file them away without paying much attention. This is why weeks can feel like they go by in a blur. There is little to take notice of or deeply consider.

We go through the same routines, take the same routes, see the same people, engage in the same behaviours, without really looking up and thinking what we want from life. There are many good things in the familiarity, but it can also impact us negatively in subtle ways. It is like driving a well-known route; it is so easy to follow that we might stop taking notice of what’s around us. We know exactly where we are going and we always end up at the same place.

When things are not quite as we expect or we have to do things in a different way, it pushes us out of autopilot and can leave us with a sense of discomfort. It opens up a small gap of uncertainty and puts us in that unsettling in-between place that our brain dislikes so much. Being in this space can leave us feeling vulnerable, as we struggle with not being able to do things so easily or dealing with the unknown. This is even harder when our capacity is full.

Stepping out of autopilot can feel unsettling. We like what we know, which is why we can find even small changes hard. No wonder it can feel tough when we face bigger issues.

When we stay in autopilot, we can end up living half a life, ignoring the fact that this life is all we have. Slowly, over time, our inner and outer lives become out of sync. The life we are living no longer matches up with what we truly want. We might be stuck in a job that is driving us into the ground, a relationship that is not fulfilling our needs. We plaster over the cracks, ignoring things that are not quite right, and in some cases we are no longer sure what we want from life or who we are. We prefer the certainty of potential misery to the uncertainty of the unknown.

Eliminating discomfort
In many ways, modern life has become a quest to eliminate discomfort. There is very little that we have to wait for (that unsettling in between), so we do not have the same opportunities to tolerate discomfort and get used to it.

When you think about how things used to be for those of us who grew up in the eighties and nineties, so much has changed. In those days, there were only four TV channels, and even on those channels there was not always something on. We watched TV live and had to sit through the adverts and we usually had to wait a week before the next episode of our favourite show.

We had to make phone calls on a landline, and if no one answered, we would leave a message or try later. This also meant the risk of speaking to your friend’s parents or siblings, who you might not know. We had to post letters and then wait for the reply.

When you met up with people, you had to make a plan and stick with it, and if someone was late, you had no option but to wait. If you wanted to buy something, you had to go into town and hunt around the shops to find it. When I started driving, I used to have to print off directions and read a map. I frequently went off course and then would struggle to find my way back. Even in my mid twenties, if I wanted to check my emails, I had to go to the library or an internet café, or wait until the next day at work.

It is a truism, but it is one worth repeating. Everything is instant now. We do not even have to leave the house if we want something. If we search long enough online, we can generally find exactly what we want and even get it delivered the same day. We have hundreds of TV channels, can fast-forward through adverts, and watch episodes one after the other; we can access the internet and other people 24/7. We can surround ourselves with people who hold similar views. Even when we are stuck in traffic, our phone can tell us for how long and offer an alternative route. As a result, we are not confronted by uncertainty or challenged much on our views.

We are rarely in that unsettled in-between place, even in lesser ways. Avoiding change and discomfort in all these small ways and trying to keep tight control of life gives us little practise when a bigger change happens.

Rather than trying to eradicate uncertainty and inconvenience (which is ultimately impossible), it is much better to gain experience of these things so we can learn to tolerate and manage them, and gain greater confidence in ourselves. We have a chance to see that the discomfort goes away when we do this, and that we do not need to have a perfect plan or know exactly how things will go to enjoy something.

Trauma is often described as an awakening. The power of a traumatic experience, the depth of feelings and the shock it can bring shake things up in a way that is rarely possible otherwise. Before trauma, we can become so comfortable in autopilot that we end up sleepwalking through life. It is only when we face struggle that we start to think about an alternative.

Life before trauma and life after trauma can feel like two different worlds. To some extent, our pre-trauma life is really life in denial. We hold a naive view in which we believe we are exempt from pain and suffering. When we experience trauma, it confronts us with existential truths, but in a strange way this can be freeing. It awakens us to the life we are living, but it can also awaken us to the life we want.

This can link us back to our natural motivations and desire to grow – a chance to live again and live differently, waking us up to life and all its future potential. These experiences allow us to notice and value things that we might not have seen before and lets us look with fresh eyes at what we want and what matters most to us.

Trauma can be a wake-up call to become true to ourselves and think about what we want from life. It is only by letting go of our old existence that we can begin to consciously choose how we want to live now and to look at what makes life worth living. This allows us to dismantle our beliefs and goals and, in time, slowly build new mental maps that are aligned with what we truly want.

5 tips to beat the top ‘Summer Sleep Stealers’

Struggling to get some shut-eye?

With over half of South Africans experiencing more disturbed slumber in the summer, sleep expert Rob Hobson shares tips to avoid the top ‘sleep stealers’.

Good gut health could support quality sleep and getting enough sleep could support good gut health. Here, we look at simple, effective ways to look after both – so you can get more zzz’s in the warmer months.

1.      Eat plenty of foods that support sleep

Eating a balanced diet can help support your gut health, which can, in turn, improve sleep quality. The quality of your sleep can also be directly influenced by the type of foods you eat.

Magnesium activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for relaxation. The is present in leafy vegetables, nuts and seeds. Tryptophan helps to make melatonin – the sleep hormone – in the brain. It’s found in oily fish, chicken and oats. You can partner foods that are rich in tryptophan with carbohydrates to improve their uptake into the brain. Vitamin B6 found in foods such as salmon, chickpeas and avocado are also involved in melatonin production, which regulates the sleep-wake cycle.

These foods can be combined to create delicious ‘summer sleep’ dishes such as barbecued salmon, with savoury rice, or jerk-marinated tofu steaks. Serve with a leafy salad, nuts and seeds for extra “sleep nutrients” as well as gut health benefits from the high fibre content.

2.    Keep it cool and dark

Our exposure to light and dark has an impact on how well we sleep. Light has a powerful effect on the circadian rhythm, and darkness stimulates the pineal gland to secrete melatonin.

This helps regulate your circadian rhythm so that you feel sleepy at night and wake up when there’s light. The circadian rhythm is a 24-hour cycle that helps to set your sleep pattern by controlling the flow of hormones and other biological processes.

During the summer, the evenings are brighter and longer, making it challenging to sleep. To help, make sure your curtains are well-fitted, and keep them shut with a few pegs if this is a problem. If the temperature gets sweltering, keep your curtains or blinds closed during the day and the window open – to block out light and keep the air moving.

A few people have air conditioning in their homes, but you can create your own by placing a bottle of frozen water in front of your fan to cool the air.

3.      Control your body temperature

Ditch the duvet and replace it with a cotton sheet to help regulate your body temperature. Cotton bed wear will not only help keep you cool, but also wick any sweat off your skin and act as a barrier between you and your bed sheets.

While it may seem counterintuitive, taking a warm shower can help you cool down ahead of sleep. During the evening, your body temperature drops in accordance with your circadian rhythm and melatonin is released to prepare you for sleep. This drop is 2 to 3 degrees which initiates a good night’s sleep. Taking a warm shower an hour or so before bed boosts circulation to direct heat from our core to the hands and feet where it is expelled. This process makes you sleepy and ready for bed.

4.    Find strategies to manage your alcohol intake

Alcohol is a sleep marauder. It causes disruptions to specific sleep cycle stages, dehydration, and frequent bathroom visits during the night. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to completely give up drinking. Instead, find strategies to drink less alcohol to improve your sleep.

Switch to low-alcohol drinks in place of your usual order, or between alcoholic drinks. Or water down your drinks by mixing with soda water. Non-alcoholic spirit options can also be made to look like their alcoholic counterparts with fruit and ice.

To combat feeling dehydration, which can impact your gut and how well you feel, don’t forget to drink water between alcoholic drinks too!

5.    Manage your stress

One of the most common reasons people cannot sleep is stress. The anxiety associated with stress can also build up as you lie awake worrying about the day ahead or reflecting on your thoughts. Get it all out by jotting down what’s on your mind on a notepad with some workable solutions.

If you wake up and start feeling anxious or stressed, try breathing exercises. One simple one is to breathe in for six seconds, then hold for six seconds before breathing out for six seconds. Repeat this several times until you start feeling more relaxed.